Monday 1 February 2016

Gentlemen, Cool Your Jets

Auto Action's Phil Branagan "isn't sure how he feels" about news V8 Supercars will be backing a programme to fund a female driver into the series, possibly as early as 2017.

Well, let me help you out there Phil: you should be stoked that a female driver somewhere will be getting such an opportunity.

In fact, let me get extracurricular and tell you how you should feel about yourself having vomited this sexist piece of drivel onto a typewriter somewhere in the Auto Action offices: deep and bitter shame that can only be redeemed by ritual seppuku. Of the testes, which you're no longer fit to bear.

Phil's real attitude is revealed by the cheap shot at the end of his feeble little screed: "If I see one headline that reads, 'Kardashians in Bathurst Bid?', I may not be able to be held responsible for my reaction." That's what Phil really fears, that the Old Boys' Club will find itself crashed by Barbie dolls who go around shunting their cars because they were checking their makeup in the rearview or squealing because they broke a nail changing to third.

I'm guessing Phil saw Anchorman and thought it was about the high-pressure atmosphere of the newsroom in the 70's.

Danica Patrick, looking smug and leaning on a big fucking trophy after winning the 2008 Indy Japan 300.

His objection, which he's good enough to state early on in the piece, is that the lucky recipient's "path into the premier category could be made considerably easier than it might be for a male of similar capabilities and experience." It's queer that he never grabs the other end of the stick and applies his own logic: that there might be female drivers out there equally talented, equally deserving of a seat, who so far have been unable to attract sponsorship or the attention of team bosses. He just assumes that any female given this helping hand will be less talented, less committed... just less. Less of a driver, and less of a human being.

He comes infuriatingly close, noting that: "In theory, motor racing is a meritocracy, as well as being one of the rare sports where both sexes can compete on an equal footing." And that's true: the fitness demands of professional motorsport are so extreme it doesn't really matter what sort of body you start with, they're all going to end up the same.

But he never puts this data point together with two others: that, in Australia at least, women make up slightly more than 50% of the population, yet only two of them made the V8 grid last year. Two drivers out of 54... let me check the math here...  is 3.7% of the grid, and even that was only at Bathurst, where Simona de Silvestro and Renee Gracie were entered as wildcards. For the bulk of the season, it was a big fat zero. I checked: if it hadn't been for Chelsea Angelo racing in the development series, the V8 paddock would've been a complete sausage fest (I almost gave them the benefit of the doubt over "Jesse Dixon", but a Google Image search confirmed that he, too, has a Y chromosome).

But even that 3.7% represents a stark mismatch with the more than 50% of the general population. Imagine the reaction if you told Roland Dane you were arbitrarily cutting off 50% of his possible talent pool. He'd throw a pink fit, and rightly so. And yet it's okay if you do it based on genitalia?

It's not like it never occurs to them. My ex-girlfriend told me when she was a little girl she wanted to be a V8 driver; my reaction was that I should give her a spin on rFactor with my racing wheel and pedals, thinking I might end up with someone to race against (I am an idiot). But somewhere along the line she either lost interest or absorbed the lesson that girls weren't supposed to drive V8s, and failed to take up the career path.



Which brings us to the real issue here: we'll leave aside the question of whether Phil is also homophobic, but does he actually realise why gay people down at the Cross are so flamboyantly out-n-proud? Because that's just how gay people are? Because, as the fundies scream, they want to turn our children gay? No, it's so, if there are any young people watching who are already gay, they'll know they're not alone. They're not recruiting, they're showing the world they're gay and fine with it, paving the way for the next generation to grow up mentally healthy and become stable, prosperous adults.

Same principle here: it's important – crucial – to show ambitious young girls out there that it can be done, you can totally grow up to race V8s. Do you know who Renee Gracie is? She's a Carrera Cup driver who's aiming for a ride in the main game. Do you know who Simona de Silvestro is? She's a former IndyCar driver who was courted by the Williams F1 team. That means, by the by, she has an FIA Superlicence. I don't have an FIA Superlicence, and I'll go out on a limb and guess neither does Phil, and neither do you. But Simona does. That makes her about a thousand percent more awesome than any of us, and the next generation has to see that. They have to hear how Leanne Tander came within a whisker of winning the Australian Formula 3 Championship. They have to hear that Christine Gibson nearly won the 1975 touring car championship (while two months pregnant, no less!), then went on to drive a car that scared the rest of the drivers on the grid witless. They have to see this onboard footage of Chelsea Angelo blasting past the 100-metre board at full throttle, braking hard for Griffin's, then making a hell of a save halfway through the Cutting.



It's also why V8 management was absolutely right to slap David Reynolds with a $25,000 fine for referring to the Gracie/de Silvestro car as the "pussy wagon." The offhand nature of the comment didn't make it okay, it was part of the problem. The next generation has to be shown that the Mad Men days are absolutely behind us and they'll be taken seriously as competitors.

Bluntly, we need to go out of our way to put women in top-level motorsport, just so the kids grow up seeing it as normal – and credit to V8 management for understanding that.

And if I hear one more peep from Phil Branagan that suggests whichever woman ends up getting some seat time will be less deserving of it than an equivalent man, well, I may not be able to be held responsible for my reaction.

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