Friday 4 April 2014

Bahrain Preview + Winton Claustrophobia

A Bahrain/Winton double-header this weekend, and only seven days after a Malaysia/Symmons Plains double header too. Busy, busy...

Via Getty Images

First things first: the Kingdom of Bahrain is a postage stamp of an island in the Persian Gulf. To their credit, the Bahrainis were the first people in the region to have moved their economy away from oil, having converted to banking and tourism around the same time they decided to be a kingdom instead of a state. Overall a smart move - we all remember that this was the same race cancelled in 2011 thanks to protests, and run under a dark cloud in 2012 because of the "excessive force and torture" being used to keep the former protestors in line. The fact is the ruling Sunnis sit nervously on a majority Shia population, which is a bit like an Islamic version of Northern Ireland, where the people at the top were Protestant but most of the people under them were Catholic (if you're too young to have heard anything about that, do some Googling already). I'm not sure how much tourism a Gulf kingdom expects to get, but sun, sand and palm trees do make for nice beaches, even if it's a faux pas to swill margaritas while enjoying them. Unlike tourism, oil doesn't create many jobs where it leaves the ground, so I imagine we'd have seen a lot more races cancelled if the Shia plebs didn't have service jobs bringing glasses of fruit juice with umbrellas in them to disappointed tourists.

All of which is a long-winded way of saying, if you're wondering why the Bahrain Grand Prix is still run in front of empty grandstands, there's your answer: bankers aren't interested in motor racing, because money is boring, and waiters can't afford it. Ticket prices keep a surprising number of Aussie fans away from Albert Park, let alone despised Shia underlings. If they're not afraid to torture these people to stop them Taking It To The Streets, I doubt they'll be in a mood to raise their wages to Formula 1 levels any time soon.

Anyway, the track. My favourite detail about the Sakhir International Circuit is that they've glued down the sand to keep it from blowing across the track and burying it, without spoiling those authentic dashing-through-the-dunes visuals. I'll give them credit, it's a unique aspect and it looks pretty good on TV, and that should go double with this weekend's evening race, but the special effects can't hide the chronic shortage of plot.  There's never been a very interesting race here, and no wonder. Have a look at this layout:



There's really not a lot going on, just long straights and tight corners that make for some brutal braking zones. The only fun parts are Turn 12, which is a bit like Lukey Heights at Phillip Island where you can feel the car get light as it crests the hill, and diving into Turn 9, because braking and turning at the same time is always a bit exciting. With the desert heat this is the toughest race of the year for brakes, which means look for someone using tough but kinda-numb Carbon Industrie brakes to win, rather than talkative-but-soft Brembos.

Apart from that, it's sometimes true that anyone who does well in Bahrain isn't going to be fighting for the championship. The long straights prioritise cars with low drag and lots of power rather than the tonnes of downforce you need to clean up the rest of the calendar, so occasionally you see the grid get turned upside-down. Best example, the Toyotas (remember them?) in 2009, when they qualified first and second in Bahrain... then 19th and 20th (meaning last) in Monaco. Explaining that to head office in Aichi couldn't have been fun.

Anyway, my pick to win would be one of the Mercs, because they seem to have the legs on the rest of the field at the moment, and of them, I'll go with Britney Nico Rosberg. Nico seems to have a knack for the place ever since he set the fastest lap in his debut year in an unfancied Williams (and much as I love Lewis Hamilton, there isn't really anywhere for him to show his chops at this place. Lewis shines when the others get nervous about the tail letting go on entry to the corner. Since Bahrain never really makes them nervous that way, he's kind of just another driver here).

Via V8Supercars.com.au

Anyway, now Winton, my least favourite track in a V8 Supercar, but one of my very favourites in just about anything else (and not just because my only rFactor version is buggy as hell). Winton is a tiny little town in the Hume wasteland between Albury-Wodonga and Melbourne, only a stone's throw from Glenrowan, where Ned Kelly finally got his legs shot out from under him. It's the opposite of Bahrain, being short with tight, twisting corners, including a complex named with typical Aussie grace and subtlety, "The Tits". See if you can spot it here:



Winton is a fantastic club circuit, and I can't think of many places I'd rather drive in the Commodore or Excel Cup or those hilarious Aussie Racing Cars, but a V8 Supercar is a different beast. They might have less power than NASCAR, but it's still a lot more than anything with a roof in Europe, and on a track this short they never really build up a full head of steam. It's about as fun as swinging a sledgehammer in a backyard dunny, or locking a tiger in the cage you use to take your tabby to the vet. The winner will be whoever can maintain their focus and be precise without getting frustrated - meaning, in my opinion, Whincup or Lowndes. As we speak though my Facebook feed is showing Fabian Coulthard and Scott McLaughlin qualifying at the top, and if the Holden Racing Team can put a decent car together I'd say Garth Tander as well.

But let's be honest, if they could put a decent car together, they wouldn't be Holden. would they?

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